Surviving

 

Lately when someone asks how I'm doing I snort and say something to the effect of "surviving" and move on to less uncomfortable topics of conversation as quickly as I can.

I used to overshare. Sometimes I might still if I'm close to the person asking. But mostly the question makes me feel uncomfortable and inadequate. Which is kind of absurd, truthfully. I just can't seem to find the balance between oversharing about how hard my life is some days and undersharing so much that people around me think I'm just standoffish. I'm working on it.

The real answer isn't much fun. I'm exhausted. I know I'll miss them being little but right now? I just need them to sleep, not hurt each other, stop tantruming over the same thing every day. They are beautiful, sweet, compassionate, loving children. I'm just weary of all the big feelings all of the time. There is rarely a day there are not tantrums and things getting ruined. We are trying hard to help them through their big feelings. They are in counseling and we do sensory therapy at home. It is just, right now, a lot. Which isn't to say I hate our life. There is joy. But there is also hurt.

So, if you could pray along with us for peace surpassing understanding in our home we would appreciate it. Drop your prayer needs in the comments and we will pray for you as well.

Much love.